I’ve done this exercise before from the book The Magic of the Iron Pentacle by Jane Meredith and Gede Parma, and when I did it last time, I felt very “different” coming out of it and felt like I was vibrating a lot. But long periods of “running the iron” through the body, from my experience, can leave the practitioner feeling that way. “Running the iron,” in my opinion is similar to EMDR, which is a modality for dealing with trauma, but has more of an acute and short-lived period of side effects like the vibrating and feeling “off” in some way; but I think that may be attributed to running a pentagram through the body – head to right foot, to left hand, to right hand, to left foot, and back up to the head, over and over again. This exercise is executed in 2 parts – a ritual bath, then running the iron while focused on what it is about yourself you are proud of. This is how it went….

I cleansed and consecrated my bath water and salt that I added to the bath, then I steeped a large tea bag of 3 herbs/plants – High John the Conqueror, Cedar, and Rose petals ground up in a mortar and pestle. I added dragon’s blood oil for some oomph and reverence to my Mother Goddess the Morrigan, and I added some Brigid oil because she’s my patron Goddess who I work with, and I burned some red cedar incense for reverence to my Father God the Dagda. I threw in some crystal totem animals as well. I prayed to the water for cleansing me of everything that stands in the way of my pride, for my highest good, harming none, and I meditated in the bath and asked my inner child what shall we do this pride ritual on. The term “resilience” came through.

I wasn’t sure about resilience being a proud part, but I also couldn’t shake it. So I continued to bath and kind of stay out of my head and allow the energy to run its course. Then some clarity came – I may not bounce back like everyone else in their normal lives, but my resilience is my own. This year is the first time in 20 years that I haven’t been on prescription anti-depressants and all I’ve had to suffer with is lack of motivation and activation. 20 years ago without antidepressants I was SSSSSOOOO depressed, a despairing mess, and going nowhere. Also, this year is a new 1st year in sobriety! Without anti-depressants????? Holy shit! I really should just give huge thanks to Spirit and All that have helped me and pat myself as well on the back. I haven’t done things perfectly this year; I gained a bunch of weight, I struggle with motivation, and I tend to get overwhelmed with tasks and get disorganized. But mentally and emotionally I’m pretty good considering the circumstances. So resilience it is.

For the rest of the exercise I needed to have 5 candles – 4 red and 1 white. The white candle represented pride, and the rest represented the rest of the Iron Pentacle points. I used tea light candles and put them around my bed so I could lay out in between them like the exercise suggested at the end. I lit the candle for “sex,” and focused my thoughts on how the creation of me contributes to my resilience. The focus went to the God/dess, how Spirit seemed to use my shadows against me (you can probably find information on that in previous blogs on my site) and drop bread crumbs (little ominous events that would persuede me to choose recovery) when I was at the end of my addiction and struggling to get back in recovery. This shows that God/dess loves me, has faith in me, and knew I was capable and wanted me to succeed. The next candle was lit for “self,” and the focus went towards how I contributed to my own resilience. It was my ability to discern the world around me and see it in a way that, regardless how coo-coo it may appear to others, it was poetic and meaningful to me – from ideas of how my own darkness shapes my light, to understanding how Cernunnos will help me with “my Herne” so I won’t be tempted by the Wild Hunt, to….I can’t think of anything at the moment but I know there’s more. My abstract thinking allows for many different angles to find meaning in everything if I so choose to do so. Then I lit the candle representing “power,” and all I could focus on was the energy work that I do – meditation, daily grounding and centering (frequently twice a day), shielding, cord cutting, call my energy back, willing positivity, shutting my mind off, etc. All those things, much that can be down in 10+ minutes a day, has been really helpful. Then I lit the candle representing “passion,” and the focus was on the friendships and fellowship that has sprung up around me, the “ah-ha” moments that manifest when I “do the work” and step out in the world; they all contribute and perpetuate the purpose and meaning for my life to be lived and enjoyed. Finally, I lit the candle representing pride, and the focus was on the showing up and the love for myself even though there were times I didn’t really see it. God/dess showed up for me, friends showed up for me, new friends and fellowship have been showing up for me and helping me stay accountable for my spiritual growth. It’s been beautiful, and something to be proud of, because Spirit took pride in me to be here for me. Because of all this, I take in pride in sharing the love and spirit with others. Now that all the candles are lit, I lay down between all the candles and “run the iron” through my body and repeat the reflections I had with each candle I lit; starting with sex, then self, then power, then passion, and finally pride. I pulled the energy from each point together and centered it in body as I continued to “run the iron.” I felt in honor of the Gods and honored by them at the same time. My skin felt only a little vibratory for this exercise (for some reason it took longer to get the visualization well executed for this exercise), and I came out of it feeling only a little “off;” but yet, I feel good. I feel strong. I feel proud, but not egoic.