So my sister still thinks being gay is a choice. I really wish she would truly open her heart to God and not the bible, for the mistake many Christians make, and yes this is just my opinion, is that they blindly follow the good book and turn their brains off. Like, why did God give you a brain anyway? There’s TONS of good stuff in the bible, and Jesus is still very much and might forever be applicable to the turning world; but I just wish people of the Christian faith would follow Christianity, not Churchianity. There are so many books and gospels hidden or banned by the Vatican, and one is the Gospel of St. Thomas – stating the kingdom of God is within you and all around you; also referring to the idea that the church isn’t necessary to find and understand God. The church doesn’t like that because they want control, especially back when they ran politics hundreds of years ago. Anyway, I’m rambling. Hate the ignorance, not the ignorant. The same goes for Christians. Many people faded out of Christian practice due to exclusive dogma, and despise God altogether because of how people used His book. It’s sad really. Jesus is great! He basically outlined the fast track to heaven. Do as he did, and you’ll be free. Which brings me to love your neighbor as yourself, and turning the other cheek. We witches hate turning the other cheek. We do not allow others to hit us and lay down to be beaten more. But is that what Jesus was really talking about? One night I was watching a biography on Dean Martin. It mentioned that Dean, even though he didn’t like some family members, he would always keep his home welcome to them. And then I sat for a moment and asked Goddess how I can do this for Thanksgiving with my sister and her erroneous and degrading beliefs. And within a couple of minutes, “Hate the ignorance but not the ignorant.” Perfect! I get to embrace the clap back at “hate the sin but not the sinner” and be present for the holidays! The reason that her beliefs bother me so much is because it eludes to gay being a sin. It says that there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Stealing is a sin, murder is a sin. The saying, “hate the sin not the sinner” applies to them. I cannot stop being gay. I prayed the gay away before I ever heard of such a thing and Jesus didn’t do shit. I did some EMDR today over my childhood with the torture of the silence I chose then, the inner turmoil I endured, and the shame I carried over being gay. I know there is nothing wrong with me and God made me the way I am – a truth I grew into. But my inner child still feels the pain that exists back then; and it’s time for that child to concede to his innermost self what I know as a grown man today. I break down just typing that. It’s like me finally coming home and removing the old programming that kept him down. I see myself, my inner child, fill up my own body this moment as I continue to write. He is strong. He is good. So many bad arrows he’s endured, and they fall away as he now stands up. I did a little EMDR just now, but I’ll further reserve doing that with my therapist for I risk introducing negative programming from any possible inflated ego that may exist. Anyway, back to my sister and turning the other cheek. It’s not that we turn the other cheek to be slapped again. It’s to face them; and not with the pain we’ve endured or resulting resentment and hate that follows. Doing that is overcompensating one’s ego and insecurity and thus allowing it to spread and subconsciously validating the other person’s views that we’re wrong, thus they are right, because look at how we’re behaving and attacking them now. Turning the other cheek, if I may, is fighting back with tolerance and acceptance, and even love if that’s capable within the person. It’s facing them with our personal truth. It’s me facing her with my personal truth. I don’t need to push her away in order for to understand me or to see me (that doesn’t even make sense). I don’t need to hide my truth behind animosity, angst, or resentment. I can be secure in myself, stand with love in myself, for her slap in my face doesn’t erase who or what I am. If her slap doesn’t erase who or what I am, then her slap lacks power. And if her slap lacks power then her slap is a lie in the face of my truth. I am a gay man. I have always been a gay man. It is not a sin to be gay. I tried to be straight, but if I were straight, then me being straight would be true, and thus push through the lie of being gay. And in that, it would be brushed off as a phase. But it didn’t, even when I asked God to because I wore the shame a narrative my family chose to blanket me with – “being gay is a sin, thus I’m a sinner, thus something is wrong with me.” God doesn’t forsake those who earnestly seek Him, and God does nothing with “pray the gay away,” because there isn’t anything wrong to pray away. There was nothing wrong in how He made me. The only sad thing left is my sister’s willful ignorance. She doesn’t see that it does mean something to me for her to see me as I am, completely. But all I can do right now is love the ignorant, but not the ignorance. It isn’t my job to make her see. Persisting in doing so just exacerbates that something is wrong with me as I focus on her side of the street instead of my path in these moments. We can allow ourselves to be seen. But proving myself again and again for her favor just turns my eyes to her and my back on my path – these moments in the now. When struck, figuratively speaking, I can march forward with my good cheek. I admire the courage flamboyant gay boys have in their younger years as they clung to their personal truths in the face of adversity. I wish I had that, and for that I strike myself; but because of that I must march forward with my good cheek. Blessed be.